Moving an elderly relative Archives

Helping Senior Parents Downsize

May 6, 2021 by Marylee MacDonald

Most of us want to see our parents grow old in the family home. Not only because it’s full of warm memories, but because it’s easier, too. Staying put may mean installing a ramp and making a few other little changes, but it doesn’t involve fixing up an aging home or making a difficult transition with parents who’d rather not move.

Even a small kitchen can be a light and bright place to prepare a healthy meal. Photo by CDC on Unsplash

Unfortunately, not all homes are suited for aging in place. Whether a home has too much square footage, a high-maintenance landscape, or staircases that grow more treacherous by the year, there are some home features you simply can’t remodel around. When that happens, downsizing to a smaller home is the best solution. As you prepare to begin a house hunt, Marylee MacDonald shares the following resources to ensure the process goes smoothly.

Planning Ahead: What to Consider Before the Move

Downsizing is a major life decision. Your parents and you will need to carefully consider their future needs and finances before going ahead. Even someone who is in good health in their seventies can anticipate that their eighties will bring changes in mobility.

What to Look for in an Age-Friendly Home

If your folks decide to age in place, they’ll need to find a home with senior-friendly features, or they’ll need to hire a contractor to make modifications. Won’t that be a hassle?

Not necessarily. Planning for a new living space and working with someone who can help them implement their plans can be a fun adventure. Even with less square footage overall, or with a one-story home instead of a two-story with a basement, a well-planned living space can provide all the functionality of a much larger space. Living in a home with less upkeep means they’ll have time for activities they truly enjoy. And, if the move means they’ll be able to live closer to their grown children and grandchildren, then that new house can provide a kind of “social insurance” that will add security to their future years. No longer will they have to worry if a health crisis means one of their kids will have to make a flight across country to assist.

How to Budget for a Downsized Home

Most people of retirement age purchased a home thirty or forty years ago. Retirement means they’re living on a fixed income. They may not want to get tied down with another mortgage. Selling their existing home prior to purchase is one way to avoid that. Before purchasing a home, your parents–and you, if you’re going to help them–must fully grasp the financial implications of downsizing. A good place to start is with making a spreadsheet of monthly expenses and income.

What to Do with Everything You Can’t Take

Deciding which items to keep, donate, give to family, or throw away can be both an emotional and liberating process. But most families have already furnished their homes according to their own tastes. Planning for an estate sale is one way to deal with de-acquisitioning. But, organizing the sale, physically handling the display of items to be sold, handling the money, and so on, will be physically exhausting. One option is to hire an estate agent. To find one, you can cruise the garage sales advertised in your area or find an Estate Sale Company by searching online.

Helping your senior parents move into a downsized home is a major undertaking. However, in exchange for your short-term effort, you’ll gain long-term peace of mind knowing that your parents are living in a home that puts their health and well-being first. If they put off downsizing and don’t start decluttering when they’re in good health, they face a long-term risk. A health crisis could send one or both to a nursing home. Then, the burden of sorting through decades worth of possessions will fall to the adult children.

Benefits of Aging in Place

December 20, 2019 by Max Gottlieb

As seniors age, they and their families are faced with the difficult question of how to provide the best care. The necessary level of care depends on the situation, but aging in place is becoming more feasible due to a combination of factors. There are constant medical advancements, people are living healthier lifestyles, and people are retiring later, leaving them financially able to make the choice. Sometimes all it takes to age in place is finding a caregiver you can trust.

woodworker in home shop — Seniors with professional skills, such as this furniture restorer, will be much more content if they can remain in close proximity to their tools.

Familiarity

The most obvious benefit of aging in place is familiarity with one’s surroundings. Familiarity may not seem like a big deal, but aging in a familiar place can alleviate depression and disorientation that sometimes occurs in assisted living communities. Also, if you have the means for you or a loved one to age in place, you can avoid the dreaded argument that frequently occurs when parents are too stubborn to leave their home. It removes the tension that occurs when older people think moving them is a sign of pushing them away.

Keeping a Routine

Studies show that people remain healthy, both physically and emotionally, by keeping with a routine. A routine can be anything from housekeeping to yard work or simply seeing neighbors and cooking. These are all forms of physical and mental exercise that patients do not receive in institutional settings. Doing small things to keep active can help reduce what is known as aging atrophy, eventually leading to a complete dependence on others. This is not to say that it’s harmful to depend on others for certain activities of daily living. Oftentimes, a loved one or a professional caregiver can help someone maintain a healthy routine.

Safety and Health

By aging in place, seniors can control their environments. They are not forced to acclimate to an environment controlled by others. The house can be as clean as they like and they are able to decide which visitors they want to see. At facilities, residents are forced to see health care professionals, other residents, and the families of other residents. Also, a major fear, when living in close quarters with other people, is the spreading of sickness or disease and this is alleviated by remaining independent.

What Kinds of Resources Are Available?

As mentioned, sometimes people need caregivers to age in place. Caregivers are able to offer a variety of services, including: homemaking, personal care, meal preparation, and medication management just to name a few. If bathing or maintaining personal hygiene becomes troublesome, a part time caregiver can help. Or perhaps housework, laundry, or grocery shopping have become problem areas. Some grocery and drugstores offer delivery services, but if not, a caregiver can help with these things as well. Depending upon the type of services needed, there are different types of caregivers available with different job titles.

If a caregiver is needed and a loved one cannot step into that role, it is best to talk to an agency or a care manager. A care manager is trained to plan, organize, monitor, and deliver services to an elderly person. They can be immensely useful. Likewise, it could be useful to look into wearing a PERS device or medical alert. Aging can be a time of navigating new terrain, but aging in place can hopefully eliminate some pressure.

Moving an Elderly Relative Into Your Home

March 2, 2018 by Lydia Chan

Inevitably, our parents will reach a point when they can no longer care for themselves. If old age, a disability or the death of a spouse has made independent living impossible for a loved one, you may have considered moving them into your home. Today, such an event can be particularly taxing on caregivers because, as research shows, the combined effect of families having children later in life and people living longer puts more and more adults in the difficult situation of having to care for their children and their parents simultaneously. If you are facing such a challenge, then consider these pointers for helping you ease the transition.

moving elderly relative — Moving an elderly relative into your house can go more smoothly if you hire movers, delegate, and ask for others in the family to participate.
Photo by Pixabay

Make the necessary home modifications

First, you will need to prepare your home for the arrival of your loved one. Start by designating an appropriate room for them. Choose one that is accessible to the home’s entrance and, most importantly, to a bathroom. You will need to declutter the space and remove rugs or other items that could present tripping hazards. Make the room inviting by decorating it with familiar items and photos.

Certain modifications to the home can make it safer and more comfortable for them. If there are stairs at your home’s entrance, you may want to have ramps installed if your loved one cannot take the stairs. This could cost you on average $1500-$3250, but, depending on the situation, it could make life much easier for the whole family.

While a walk-in tub is a nice bathroom feature, save yourself the expense of having one installed. Whether you have a tub or walk-in shower, there are simpler and less expensive ways to make bathing safer. Install safety bars on the walls and safety strips on the floor of the tub or walk-in shower to prevent falls. Use a chair inside of the tub or shower. And a bathtub transfer bench will make entering and exiting the tub easier and safer.

Moving is less stressful if you get help

While you’re busy preparing the house for your loved one’s arrival, enlist a friend or young family member to help them pack. They will need to assist your relative with deciding what to bring with them and then help them sell, donate or store the remaining items.

If you are juggling a job and parenthood, you may not be able to handle the move yourself, so you may want to consider hiring movers. If you leave moving day to the professionals, it will take the burden of packing and moving off of your shoulders, and will make the process of unpacking simpler, since the movers will have a system for keeping everything organized for you. It will also reduce the risk of someone getting injured and allow you to focus on what’s most important – caring for your family. Moving your loved one doesn’t have to cost much, and because it will make the whole experience much less stressful for you and your loved one, it will be money well-spent.

Delegate responsibilities

Once your relative has moved in, prevent caregiver stress syndrome by delegating responsibilities. One person can only do so much, so make sure everyone in the house contributes. Ask your spouse to take on some additional household chores and to assist with caregiving. Your children may also be able to help, but be careful not to give them too much responsibility, as it could have negative consequences for them. If your senior relative is healthy enough, they may even be able to help with certain tasks, like helping with homework or setting the table.

If it is time for your aging or disabled family member to move in with you and your family, you may worry about the stress it might cause. Make the process easier by asking other family members to help with packing while you prepare your home for your loved one’s arrival. For moving day, hire movers to do the heavy lifting and take the burden off of your hands. Lastly, if everyone pitches in, then no one person will become overburdened with responsibility. And don’t forget to enjoy and appreciate all of the quality time you will now have with your loved one!