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Being a senior caregiver is a rewarding job, but it can also be challenging, both physically and emotionally. It takes a lot of time, effort, and dedication to provide quality care while also balancing your own work and personal life. Long-term stress can take a toll on your overall well-being.

An elderly gentleman and his caregiver grandson — Caregivers can be grandchildren, nieces, or nephews. Caring for seniors provides an opportunity for intergenerational bonding. Even grandchildren who just stop by to visit can lift the spirits of seniors who spend the day alone. (Image via Pexels)

Tap At-Home Services

Hiring at-home services (home health aides, meal delivery, and housekeeping services) can lighten the load of caring for seniors. These services can be tailored to fit your needs and budget. Take a look at your options online, as these services vary around the country.

“Ordering in” provides another benefit. Often those who deliver Meals on Wheels provide social contact that’s good for seniors’ mental health.

Don’t assume that hiring help is just for people with loads of money. Depending on which state you live in, you may find that state support makes home health care affordable, even for those of modest means. Here’s a state-by-state breakdown of benefits. For a complete list of services, download this brochure. It will point you to programs that might be just what you or your senior needs.

But isn’t hiring all these services going to break the bank? No, it’s not. So called “Cash and counseling programs” originally began as a pilot program to assist Medicaid-eligible seniors. This pilot program has now expanded to every state, with each state calling it something different. Services are different, too. However, the basic idea is to provide money so that seniors can hire and pay their own caregivers.

Ask for Help

Often, caring for a senior falls primarily on one person, often a middle-aged daughter. However, in many cases, the caregiver can call on family members for extra help. A family member who lives far away might be able to fly in for a week or more. If clothing is needed, they can shop and send a care package by mail. Those who live close can drive mom or dad to doctors’ appointments or run errands.

But why don’t other people see what needs to be done and do it? Oftentimes, people who aren’t involved on a day-to-day basis hang back. They don’t want to step on the caregiver’s toes. Also, they don’t know what, exactly, needs to be done. So, rather than complain that the burden is all on you, figure out specific, actionable tasks. Delegate! It can make a big difference in your mental health.

Ask About Job Flexibility

If your job requires you to work outside the home, then consider asking your boss about flexible work hours or working remotely. In many cases, this will allow you to take care of your loved one during the day without you having to sacrifice your job in the process. Additionally, some employers offer paid leave for caregivers.

According to the website Easy Living, a Florida company that specializes in senior care,

An estimated 66% of caregivers are female.
The average caregiver is a 49-year-old woman who works outside the home and provides 20 hours per week of unpaid care to her mother.
Although men also provide assistance, female caregivers may spend as much as 50% more time providing care than male caregivers.

Taking on the role of caregiver means that a working adult risks being short of money when they enter their own senior years. For that reason, it’s important that caregivers look into the possibility of getting paid.

Don’t Work for Free

If you get paid, then you contribute to your own Social Security account.

In California, New York, Washington, the District of Columbia, New Jersey, and Rhode Island, caregivers taking time off work can receive up to between 60% and 70% of their lost wages up to a maximum of $1,620 per week (as of January 2023), for up to 8 weeks during a 12-month period. The benefit amount is determined by an applicants’ highest quarter of earnings during the previous 12 months.

If your family member qualifies for Medicaid, then in seven states – New York, Nevada, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Arizona, and Indiana – a friend or family member can get paid to be a caregiver. If the senior being cared for is a veteran, then the options for care are even greater. There’s no time limit on getting paid. Many veterans have such severe injuries that they must be cared for 24/7. That care can last years.

Younger Caregivers

What can happen is that caregiving goes on far longer than anticipated. The middle-aged daughter might realize she needs to go back to work because she can see her own retirement just over the horizon. Perhaps, there’s a young person in the family who could step in.

A young person – a grandchild or grand-niece or grand-nephew – might volunteer to help out for what they envision as a short-term good deed. Or, they might be forced to become a caregiver because there’s simply no one else. (See the story of Jacquelyn Revere below.)

In some ways, moving in with an elderly relative solves problems for both generations. The young person gets room and board in exchange for light housekeeping and companionship. They may even get paid, something that’s good for self-esteem. A stint of family caregiving can also allow people in their twenties time to regroup and decide on long-term goals.

Plan for Online Learning

If the younger generation opts in and becomes a family caregiver, then going back to school online is an excellent way to increase their knowledge base. If the demands of caregiving aren’t too heavy, the responsibility involved in caring for an elder can advance a young person’s career. If the young person was let go due to downsizing, had a job with on-again, off-again shifts, or thought their job wasn’t going anywhere, then becoming a caregiver could be a perfect fit.

That’s because caregiving often means many empty hours during the day. (If the older person has dementia, that’s not the case. There are no empty hours.)

Depending on the needs of the senior, however, a younger caregiver might be able to sign up for online courses. There are many courses, such as those offered through Coursera, that offer degrees and certifications in IT, business, healthcare, and more. These online programs could open up opportunities in the future. If a young person takes on a caregiving role, knowing that they have career options can help lighten the load and reduce stress.

Have a CV Handy

Whether you’re a middle-aged woman taking time out to help her mom or a younger person, your time as a caregiver doesn’t have to show up as a blank space on your resume. And, eventually, you’ll be ready to make the transition from caregiver back into the workforce.

As a caregiver, you’ve proven you can handle responsibility. Having an updated CV will showcase all of your skills, qualifications, and experiences so you can impress potential employers. Build a stunning curriculum vitae with an online builder. The best part? Creating a professional-looking document is easy with a CV template, which you can customize with your favorite copy, colors, and images.

Find Support

Being a senior caregiver can be overwhelming, even for the most experienced individual. To combat burnout, join support groups and forums where you can touch base with other caregivers. They understand what you’re going through. They’re your cheering section.

This is especially beneficial if your caregiving duties make it impossible for you to leave the house. Listen to this NPR story about Jacquelyn Revere, a 29-year-old woman who became a #dementia TikTok celebrity. Jacquelyn’s mother and grandmother both had Alzheimer’s, and it was up to her to keep the family afloat. Just imagine the Herculean effort it took to care for two women with dementia at the same time!

Meditate for Me-Time

As you look for support, remember to schedule alone-time. Even if you’re housebound, you can take a mental break by meditating. Meditating has been shown to reduce stress levels and improve overall mental health. Releasing stress is essential when taking care of someone else. Taking just 15 minutes out of each day for yourself can make all the difference when it comes to staying focused and energized.

Being a senior caregiver is no easy task, but there are resources you can tap into. They make the job easier. And, like Jacquelyn Revere, you may discover that caregiving helps you redefine your life’s purpose.

Here, Family Caregiver Support has compiled a list of tips that will help make your daily responsibilities easier. Check out inspiring caregiver stories.

In May, 2017 Hawaii’s station KITV reported that caregivers were meeting with legislators to try to improve hospital discharge planning. According to the television channel, patients were being released from the hospital with the expectation that elderly caregivers would be able to meet the care needs of other, similarly elderly, patients. “They say unpaid care giving in Hawaii falls on the shoulders of women who experience most of the physical, emotional and financial impacts of care giving,” the station reported. The organizers contend that they do not get enough training, and that they just plain don’t get enough help.

Kapuna caregivers — Caregivers in Hawaii are organizing to press the legislature for vouchers so that they can hire more help.

Organizers Ai-jen Poo and Cathy Betts are advocating for the Kupuna Caregivers Assistance bill. If passed, the bill would give qualifying caregivers vouchers to help pay for adult day care, homemaker services, temporary relief, transportation, and personal care.

This is not a problem unique to Hawaii. Even in paradise, there’s no pot-of-gold at the end of the rainbow for elderly caregivers trying to help their loved ones. Have you ever picked up a sick relative at the hospital only to discover that the hospital expects the mythical “family” to take care of that person? I have, and found that many of the procedures that health care professionals take for granted are way out of the comfort zone of the average person. And it’s not just expertise. There is often no warning that the recently released person needs constant care for 24-hours to a week. With an aging population the assumption that an elderly partner is physically capable of caring for an ill spouse may be erroneous.

I asked my sister, Carolann Cody, who is a manager for a home health care agency, to provide some answers to questions about hospital release policies. Below are her answers to my queries.

1) Different hospitals assign discharge planning responsibilities differently, but, in general, the discharge planner or care coördinator would meet with the patient to discuss needs and resources. There is a document that Medicare requires for notification of discharge and that spells out the patient’s right to dispute the release. There is no particular form to sign if the patient has private insurance, but the patient should be given a discharge-instruction sheet at time of discharge to tell he or she what to do for follow-up.

2) There is no guarantee that an elderly person would not be expected to provide care. We see that fairly often. Hopefully they have resources to hire additional help. No insurance covers 24-hour care at home. Most insurance plans follow Medicare guidelines which, in a nutshell, are as follows:

Insurance will pay for intermittent care by a skilled nurse, physical therapist, or speech therapist if that is ordered by a physician and is medically necessary.

The patient must be home-bound to receive such care. If the patient qualifies for additional services, he or she may receive HHA (Home Health Aide) services for personal care, OT (Occupational Therapy), and/or MSW (Social Worker) help.

The aide generally spends about an hour several days a week to provide personal care and do some light ancillary patient-directed care (load of laundry, change linen, wash dishes, or make the patient a light meal). The home-care social worker would help the patient explore additional resources, and help with planning and assist the patient and family with placement in a nursing home if that is needed. In California, MediCal, if someone is eligible, does have a program called “In Home Support Services” that pays for attendant-level assistance at home. It’s never as many hours as someone needs, and is basically a minimum wage position, not skilled nursing.

3) The hospital’s discharge planner will follow-up by providing resources for potential placement in a nursing home or rehab facility. The patient and his or her family would need to explore and decide where the patient would be sent. Rehab facilities have their own separate rules for placement. For instance, if a patient needs acute rehab, that person needs to be able to participate in therapy 3 hours a day with a reasonable expectation of improving his or her physical or mental function. How long they’ll be able to stay there depends on how much progress they’re making. Also, with Skilled Nursing Facility placement, the number of days Medicare covers is limited. Again, the patient must need skilled care of some sort. Long-term placement in either of the previous kinds of facilities is not covered by Medicare, but MediCal does cover the costs if the patient is poor enough to qualify.

4) There isn’t much that a hospital can do if the patient insists on going home. Again, we see that fairly often. These people generally get readmitted to the hospitalized fairly quickly. All that can be done is to advise them regarding concerns about their safety. If they are a threat to themselves, they get referred to Adult Protective Services (APS). It just kind of flags them in the system. APS doesn’t have many resources either.

Thank you, Sis, for providing an overview of discharge planning. For family caregivers, the moment when a patient is discharged from the hospital may very well mark the end of an “acute” health care episode and the beginning of a long-term decline with many dips and valleys. Caregivers face a huge challenge in figuring out how to get the appropriate help for their loved one and in getting the loved one to accept that help.